The One Big Reason We Fail To
Achieve Our Dreams . . .

. . . And How To Avoid It!

What do you want in life? Do you know? Have you given up on your dreams because you tried and nothing seems to work? Too often we think we know what we want, but we don’t really. We might think we want to be rich, to be successful, to be loved, or to be famous, but these are vague and nebulous. Successful at what? Famous for what? Rarely is wanting to be ‘successful’ or ‘famous’ sharp enough to focus the mind into positive action. On the other hand we do know what we don’t want. We don’t want to be poor. We don’t want to be sick. We don’t want to end up alone. We don’t want to have this problem or that problem. We are very clear on that score.

Today you are going to make a big change in your life. You are going to drop the clarity on what you don’t want, and get in touch with what you do want, what you really, really want.


Take some time to think about what you want in life. I mean what you want to achieve, not things you'd like to have. Don’t put down three foreign holidays a year, a perfect mate, and regular trips to the jewellery department at Harrods. These are the things you get after you’ve achieved your big dream.

(the jury’s out on the perfect mate one!)

The trappings of success are no substitute for the deep satisfaction you feel upon realising the desire of your soul. This is what you want to get clear on and what you want to go for.


Get a pen and paper and write down what you want to achieve. I’m deliberately avoiding the word goals because many people have a nervous reaction to that word, that’s because goals are often those things we thing we should want, that society wants for us, but which we don’t want at all. Instead think of what really lights your fire, what makes you breathless with anticipation and so full of excitement that you can’t wait to get started. When you’ve found that you’ve found your purpose in life. Then every morning as you get up remind yourself of the new life you are creating and get excited about it all over again. Do affirmations if you want to. Do whatever works. Just do it.

Become systematic in your approach to achieving your dream

Begin by selecting different categories. There’s your personal life, your financial life, your job, fun and recreation, and so on. Decide what you would like to achieve in each of these areas. Have fun with this exercise, and take your time with it. When you’re ready pick the one thing from each list that really sticks out. And then decide, really decide to go for it. Just remember don’t select too many things. We all know people who want to travel, write a book, get married, own race horses, sail around the world singlehandedly. And they never do any of these things. They have spread their goals too thinly. If you have too many pots on the stove you can’t attend to them all.


Now, if after a few weeks you find that you haven’t even got started on creating your new life this doesn’t mean you’re a procrastinator, or bad at manifesting, or any of those other things you’ve been told. It probably means you’ve chosen stuff you didn’t really want. That’s fine. Go back and do the exercise again. There are so many voices in the world telling you what they think you should want that it can be hard at times to hear your true inner voice. Give yourself space. Don’t let anyone rush you on this one. You’ll know when you hit the jackpot because you’ll be so enthused that you’ll want to spend every waking hour at it. Remember when you were a kid and just had to get up at six in the morning to play with that new toy? Well, that’s how you will feel about your purpose when you find it. It is unmistakeable. Life then becomes effortless. Effortless doesn’t mean that you won’t have to work hard at it, you will, but you’ll enjoy every minute. That’s the difference.


Of course, there may be another reason why you haven’t started yet on your big dream. And it’s this, you’ve been listening to, focusing on what you don’t want. As I said at the beginning we all know what we don’t want, and we tend to focus on that. And therein lies the main reason why we fail to achieve our dream. You see, we’re taught from a young age to avoid the dangers in life, to look out for the pitfalls, the hustlers, the scammers. And so it becomes second nature to go around sensing what might go wrong. And guess what, it often does. Now this way of interfacing with the world becomes so insidious that we don’t realise it's our habitual mode, our default position if you like.


How often have you heard someone say, ‘it’s guaranteed to rain now that I’m going on holiday’? They’ve become so accustomed to expecting to get what they don’t want that they don’t realise they’re drawing this very thing into their lives. Did you ever wonder why bad things often happen to good people? The good die young, the old saying goes. What we focus on we undoubtedly create.


So be aware that you are probably better at sensing what you don’t want than what you do. And make a decision to reverse this. Make this decision today. And then make a big decision to discover what you really want and that, no matter how many obstacles appear to be in the way, or how many people tell you it can’t happen, you are going to achieve your big dream.


Once you’ve made that decision you own your dream.

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